How to Build a Healthy Relationship

For many, even some couples in love, building and maintaining a satisfying relationship can seem elusive at times. The truth is that it’s hard to build a healthy relationship, especially when the pressures of the daily grind enter the picture.

Balanced, stable, and committed relationships that get better over the years do exist. Here are some steps that can help make an ordinary relationship into an extraordinary one that lasts.


Don’t skimp on the small talk. Couples who talk about their day and have discussions on everything from daily events to long terms plans typically have more satisfaction with their relationships. Even five to 10 minutes a day of open communication can increase feelings of connection and foster trust.

Manage Conflict Correctly

No matter how bad the problem or situation seems, remember that you and your partner are on the same team. Keep in mind you both want the same short-term results and to attain the same long-term goals. Regardless of what the argument is about, focusing on the commonalities you share can help put things in perspective. It is much easier to fight a battle or tackle a problem together than to go at it alone. Avoid personal attacks and if things get too heated, walk away for a cool down period.

Take “Me” Time

A relationship can only be at its best if the persons involved are at their best. Take time to recharge by doing something you enjoy that is just for you. While you and your partner may have activities you enjoy together, it is also important for each partner to participate in activities that you do not share.

Having some time apart can allow you to focus on things other than your relationship and pursuing your own interests encourages continued spiritual growth. A union where each partner continues to grow and develop over the years has the best chance of persisting through good and bad times while doing everything together often leads to a relationship that is stagnant and constricting.

Keep Your Own Council

Rushing to share the details of every conflict with family or friends will only lead to problems in the future. When people get into arguments, they often feel the need to be vindicated. They want their opinions validated so they can feel they made the right decisions and friends and family are often quick to comply.

However, if all your confidants hear is negative stories, they may begin to ask why you are with your partner in the first place. Their opinions can cloud the process of working things out with your partner. The relationship is between you and your partner, not you, your partner, your family, your friends, and whoever else. When you have a problem, go straight to the source and work things out between the two of you. Later, when things have settled down, feel free to discuss with others whatever seems appropriate.


Include these four tips into a daily routine for a strong, long-lasting partnership. Communicating, managing conflict, maintaining personal interests, and refraining from broadcasting the bad times will go a long way towards increasing mutual satisfaction. With a little practice, even the best relationship can become even better.

Jefferson Shillingford
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