3 Steps to Building a Healthy Transgender Relationship
In today’s world, it’s hard enough for those with more socially supported relationships to make it work. By this, I mean straights and gays alike; for others it can be a nightmare. Transgender couples face special types of issues and trauma, and this is all you seem to see written about them. We’re happy that they’re getting the attention they need through the spread of much-needed awareness,but, they can also have happy and healthy relationships too.
A healthy relationship in the first place has much to do with the sexual health of the couple. It also has a lot to do with general health because you become most like the people nearest to you. If their attitudes are unhealthy so are the habits they develop. Here we’ll give you 3 basic, proven steps to a healthier transgender relationship and thusly, better wellbeing.
Some of these may sound common sense so a little disclaimer is necessary here. One thing to remember is that transgender people have the same feelings as everyone else. When it comes to relationships, gender, leaves little differences at its core. We are all androgynous when it comes to love and being humans. Who we are attracted to and for what reason is immaterial.
1. Build On Trust
This seems like a no brainer but this is something most couples of any persuasion or sex seems to struggle with. You can only imagine the intricacies in a transgender relationship that could cause trust issues, especially at the beginning.
Here, one of those idiosyncrasies are your partner’s past encounters which are not limited to simply sexual partners. Rejection and judgement is a part of life for these people and it makes them leery of who they open up to if they do at all. Make sure you are discussing your partner’s past and how they feel about certain things so that they feel they have a safe space to open up in.
2. Clarify your Meaning of Commitment
Commitment means something different to some than others. Because of the special circumstances that surround transgender relationships, an initial discussion of what commitment means to you and your partner is imperative. Most arguments and premature breakups are caused by a gross misunderstanding of what commitment and of course what fidelity really means to them. You don’t want a mistaken cheat going on and get caught up in an unnecessary argument that may lead to a breakup.
3. Practice Discreet Communication with Others
Your partner may prefer certain special terms to use in regard to their gender. The worst thing you could say to someone when something upsets them is: “ That’s no big deal”. Each person, including your partner’s feelings and perceptions need to be respected. This means opening the lines of communication between the two of you. For example, even if you are both transgender and one of you has particulars that they prefer in the communication of your gender, it doesn’t mean your partner’s will be the same. You will also have to decide whether or not you or your partner wants to be “outed”in this way. This is a heavy conversation that must first be had with yourself. This way, when you come across a person that could be a potential partner, you will know that this is a boundary and the person you’re with must agree.
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