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No Energy for Sex? Here’s what to do

tired man laying in grass

Every once and awhile we get tired. Maybe there are too many things going on in life, maybe we have kids, school or other things that happen with life. But, when the sex drive dives there can be a lot of reasons for it. Below are a few solutions you may want to try.

Change Diet

If you are consuming too much sugar and caffeine then you should be aware that the impending crash will take your libido down with it.

Exercise

Exercise is the best way to get the blood moving and the energy back on track. Just a bit each day, you don’t have to be a gym junkie.

Sleep!

Make sure sleep is a priority and get to bed at a decent hour. No one says it has to be a complete eight but the majority of hours you are asleep should be uninterrupted.

Find a Babysitter

If you have kids, find a trustworthy person, maybe even another mom to watch the kids for a couple hours in the week. Take a bubble bath or go for a jog. Whatever floats your boat is what you need to do and you won’t feel like you want to get away from your partner when sex time begins.

Test the emotional waters

Take a week to thirty days and track your moods. If you are female, you may want to track it with your cycle too. It may be that as we get older, our hormones change and the sex drive is effected. For men, it may be a sign of low testosterone which you may want to check with a doctor.

Reduce your Schedule

It may just be time to take a candid look at your schedule and strike one thing , just one task that you can do without or delegate to someone else for a change. This doesn’t sound like much but, it certainly does quite a lot and makes a difference. Also, try to slow down the multitasking. Men tend to be better than women at this. Women, try to focus on one thing at a time a bit better so you are on slow and not fast burn.

Get the kids out of the bedroom

There comes a time in the lives of every parent that you kick the kids out of the bedroom and make certain this becomes your love nest again.

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Delegate Chores

Make sure everyone has a chore list, even giving up one thing a day will do your body good.

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Four Tips for Maintaining a Healthy Relationship

couple making heart with hands

A satisfying relationship can seem elusive at times, especially when the pressures of the daily grind enter the picture. In this modern world where the divorce rate is greater than 50 percent, it can be hard to imagine a relationship that survives and even thrives over the years. Balanced, stable, and committed relationships that get better over the years do exist. Here are some steps that can help make an ordinary relationship into an extraordinary one that lasts.

Communicate

Don’t skimp on the small talk. Couples who talk about their day and have discussions on everything from daily events to long terms plans typically have more satisfaction with their relationships. Even five to 10 minutes a day of open communication can increase feelings of connection and foster trust.

Manage Conflict Correctly

No matter how bad the problem or situation seems, remember that you and your partner are on the same team. Keep in mind you both want the same short-term results and to attain the same long-term goals. Regardless of what the argument is about, focusing on the commonalities you share can help put things in perspective. It is much easier to fight a battle or tackle a problem together than to go at it alone. Avoid personal attacks and if things get too heated, walk away for a cool down period.

Take Personal Time

A relationship can only be at its best if the persons involved are at their best. Take time to recharge by doing something you enjoy that is just for you. While you and your partner may have activities you enjoy together, it is also important for each partner to participate in activities that you do not share. Having some time apart can allow you to focus on things other than your relationship and pursuing your own interests encourages continued spiritual growth. A union where each partner continues to grow and develop over the years has the best chance of persisting through good and bad times while doing everything together often leads to a relationship that is stagnant and constricting.

Keep Your Own Council

Rushing to share the details of every conflict with family or friends will only lead to problems in the future. When people get into arguments, they often feel the need to be vindicated. They want their opinions validated so they can feel they made the right decisions and friends and family are often quick to comply. However, if all your confidants hear is negative stories, they may begin to ask why you are with your partner in the first place. Their opinions can cloud the process of working things out with your partner. The relationship is between you and your partner, not you, your partner, your family, your friends, and whoever else. When you have a problem, go straight to the source and work things out between the two of you. Later, when things have settled down, feel free to discuss with others whatever seems appropriate.

Include these four tips into a daily routine for a strong, long-lasting partnership. Communicating, managing conflict, maintaining personal interests, and refraining from broadcasting the bad times will go a long way towards increasing mutual satisfaction. With a little practice, even the best relationship can become even better.

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5 Best Libido Enhancing Herbal Teas

cup of hot herbal tea

Herbs are the medicine of life.

Before synthetic, packaged, frozen and hormone and GMO-ridden foods, we looked to our food as the medicine of the gods. In fact, there was little evidence to show that there was any kind of sexual dysfunctions back in the day. Today, it seems like everyone is popping some kind of dangerous pill that messes with blood flow and pressure, this, is not the path we wish you to take.

Below we will list the five best libido enhancing herbal teas on the market. You can even use the fresh ingredients in a tea ball yourself for best results. Remember the first rule of thumb for herbal stuff is the less you have to process it, the better.

Cardamom

Cardamom

This kitchen spice is powerful! Cardamom contains a heavy amount of Zinc, which also helps to regulate your digestion.

Vanilla Bean

t’s a soothing and relaxing as well as libido energizing herb. If you are a woman, men love the scent on a woman the most. Get the tea and wear the essential oil.

Ginger

Good for both sexes but amazing for guys! Erections are sturdy and last longer too.

Ginseng

This one is a great one for both sexes but, be sure you know the contraindications and not overdo it. The body will use the nutrients from this root to boost libido in women and to build lasting erections in men.

Cinnamon and Mint

These two are great apart but these, like all herbal combinations are of course more powerful together than apart. Usually you can purchase them in a tea or use sprigs of the fresh stuff in a tea ball which is what we suggest. You could also buy the teas but make certain it is loose leaf tea that you place in a tea ball.

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The 7 Year Itch and How It Affects Sexual Health

couple making heart with hands

The seven-year itch is something that occurs naturally in every relationship that is long-standing. It means the couple is absolutely normal; however, how it’s handled is another question. The actions of the couple will determine the outcome of the relationship.

What is the 7 Year Itch?

Back in the day (pre-baby boomer to within the baby boomer era) we heard the coined phrase “7-year itch”. This reflects the time period when a couple has been together, married or not for 7 years.  Biologically, it has been found that we are only going to have those “in love” chemicals roaming around the body for about a year and things start to taper-off within the 3-year cycle. This has a lot to do with procreation and gene distribution.  Once that job is done, whether you have children or not—you’re done with the need for those love-like chemicals.

And here’s another bomb to drop on you. The 7-year itch, according to recent research is off by 3 years. This starts to happen by year 4. In cultures other than Western societies, the couple stayed together until the kids were out of toddler age. Then, if they wanted to mate with others, they could do so without guilt or shame. We don’t think there was much to do with jealousy and possessiveness because this was something that was accepted from the time they are children, much like it was accepted that you had a mom and a dad your whole life that stayed together in this culture. This came about mostly due to our religious beliefs.

We aren’t here to say that either way of living is right or wrong—but, it’s not one way or the other. You can choose what type of relationship you choose to have without remorse. Our culture; however, will tend to shame others for being different, this is the issue.

What does this do for sexual health in our society?

Sexual health has a lot to do with our mental and physical health as a whole. If you think a bit deeper, there is a lot of stress that comes from the 7 year or 4-year itch when it drops on you. It is phenomenon that you don’t really see coming. It’s like the boiling frog effect. If you place a frog in a pot of boiling water, it doesn’t know it’s boiling until it’s too late.

The snowball that this creates is that of paranoid suspicion that maybe there is something wrong with you or that your partner is growing away from you or even cheating.  It’s a slippery-slope to say the least. Sometimes this is the cause of things like the variety of sexual dysfunctions out there. When this happens, the other partner starts to feel unattractive.

The7 year itch is the time where divorce can occur. Once the conversation has been had where the ‘D’ word has been mentioned—it’s typically down-hill from there.

How to effectively scratch the 7-year itch

We will say that it’s easy to see when you’ve read an article like this one. Below, we’ll list some of the tell-tale signs that you or your partner or both are experiencing the 7-year itch which as you know now can start in year 4.  

There is one disclaimer though. This does not mean you need to get paranoid or start fights or accuse anyone of anything. In the next post of this two-part series we will give you tips on how to talk to your partner in different situations. This is very important. So, right after this, get on to part two and print it out if you have to.

  • Your partner is not having sex as much as they used to, or you are not as interested.  Make sure you rule out menopause or pre-menopause as a factor as well as medications and depression.
  • You or your partner are not doing the things you used to enjoy with each other. Make sure you rule out legitimate things, like work or something new that’s going on that would take you or them away.
  • You or your partner are entertaining the thought of straying with someone else. This is where a delicate approach is needed.
  • You and your partner seem happy enough with no real drama but are very much in a rut.

These are the main signs that should be pretty consistent throughout without much change. Keep in mind that these things can mean other situations may be involved. Go to part two for how you can handle this effectively.

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What to eat in your twenties

In your 20’s your body, in some ways is still developing. Hormones are shifting at different stages of this delicate decade and so is your health. You have needs that are different in the early years than you would need closer to 30. Here are a few things you should know about the foods that are targeted to the person in their 20’s.

Potassium bearing food

And believe it or not, the sweet potato is not as potent as the banana. Nope, a half a sweet potato a day can do the trick or a whole one 3 days a week. You can eat it in any form you choose and save the banana for in-between.

Beef that is grass fed

They are potent iron bearing foods that both sexes can’t live without. If you’re pregnant, even better. Just be sure it is grass-fed and non hormonal.

Nuts

Nuts are great for everyone in any variety provided there is no allergy. But walnuts are the ones best suited for 20 something people for those great feeling chemicals that ward off depression.

D Vitamins

Healthy strong bones and teeth as well as a healthy nervous systems are the order of the day. This can be found in milk but of course be smart about it and buy only hormone-free organic.

Beans, Bean and More Beans!

Yes they have a bad rep for gassy content but white navy beans are best and are packed with at least five nutrients that 20 somethings need.

A 20 something is developing their body systems and they are still trying to find that delicate balance. This means blood glucose and hormones need to be kept at a level that will tell the brain to keep it there. When a diet is full of too much sugar, too much or too little fat etc, this can cause a predisposition to diabetes and obesity along with heart disease, stroke, asthma and a plethora of other ailments and disorders. Eating several small meals with healthy snacks a day is best. Overall, we recommend at least paying attention to what you put in your body. Also, remember that your sexual appetite, your libido in particular, is greatly impacted by the decisions you make for your hunger appetite.